Friday, May 18, 2012 @ 6:21 AM | 0 notes
I am very lost.
Like a small kid lost his or her mother at a big shopping mall.
What am i supposed to do? Can anyone tell me , guide me ?
I feel like breaking down very soon.
Trying to act like nothing , but my heart dont allow me.
Putting a strong side , a heck care look and action ..
But deep in my heart, i am jealous.
Dont you know your action actually hurt me?
Why does it have to be my best friend ?
If is others , maybe the wound wont be so big.
She is best friend!
Why do you have to hurt me so hard?
Did i do something wrong to you?
All i did is just buried my feeling for you deep inside my heart.
Is that a crime?
It didnt hurt you , but you had hurt me.
Giving me false hope, then smashed it with a cruel way.
I know you like her.
I had the hunch since last year.
I knew it long time ago.
It is pain , my chest.
You is my first love, yet is a bitter want.
Not only you dont know i like you,
and you hurt me by liking my best friend.
People always say if a guy like you ,
they will take any chance to get near you.
You have shown it clearly that the person you like is
none other than my good friend.
Feeling very distant from you.
From friends to stranger.
We are pro!!
Hahahahahaha D:
Sometimes , i just wanted to forget you.
But i just cant.
Just the sight of you , my heart flutters.
Even we dont talk, i knew we are not for each other.
This feeling i having now ,
i dont want to have it again.
The feeling that i want to go near you ,
but i dont dare.
Your silent made me stay at the same point since sec1.
I think it is enough.
5 years le , it is already 5 years.
Yet the feeling for you is still so strong.
Nope , it is getting stronger and stronger.
If i dont confess , i will regret.
Will you accept?
I am afraid of being abandon so i shut my mouth.
Dont give false hope if you dont like me.
I hope it end sweetly.
And niceely....
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 @ 4:36 AM | 0 notes
Hiax....
All because of that AMATHS !
It pull down all my marks,
So unfair!
I always tell myself , dont defeat on a subject.
Do well in all 7 subject.
The dream seems leaving further and further away.
I cant cope at all.
I dont know what i dont know.
Careless mistakes are unavoidable.
Memories is fading...
What am i supposed to do to get good grades?
Study harder?
I dont think i can do it.
I most dont like is study.
Facing the books 24hr per day,
forget it , i wont be able to do it.
No choice , had to study even how i dont like it.
I cant treat o level like n level.
This is not playing time anymore.
Mother tongue exam is coming, yet i have not studied.
Accept the fate , there is nothing you can change right now.
Rather angry about it , must well love it.
Make life easier.
I will try to love the words in my textbooks.
Trying to understand them , know them then remember them.
Only this , nothing else.
Hope , unaccountable.
I think i really must work double hard this time round.
Open your eyes wide, study not play.
Anything to motivate me now? Actually nothing.
Had to find a goal to motivate me , make me love studying.
Fighting !
June Hols ,
lose weight and revision.
I hate both of them.
In order to have a good figure and a clever brain,
go all the way to it.
Lastly , GOOD LUCK , SANDY FOR YOUR CHINESE EXAMS.
PLEASE GET A1 AND I DONT NEED TO RETAKE.
A1 , A1 , A1, A1, A1, A1, A1.
look easy to obtain ,
but sorry it is not easy....
Need to speak from now on... ahhahahaha
GOODLUCK !
Thursday, May 10, 2012 @ 6:17 AM | 0 notes
Woah , so long did not update my blog le.
All blame to the Internet access to my netbook.
It is so lousy.
Today I read a sentence that made me thinks so much.
The sentence is
What goes around, comes around.
I don't really know the meaning.
But I had the feeling that it is so true.
I feel working is really damn tired.
Not looking at boss face , customer face ,
But my friend face.
Did I owe her last life ?
To have this suffering this life.
She said she might working alone，
When I am having my off day.
But in the end , I am the one working alone.
How come what bad things she said always fall on me.
It does not happen once , but more than twice.
Really , I think my life only have bad luck since sec 3 .
Been losing her since sec 3 till now.
Did not win her in anything ...
Am I such a failure , a loser this life?
Then can I end this life and start a better next life ?
I am having such a bad luck now , so can I don't take my result?
Nothing good will come out.
I really did not mean to be so mean sometimes.
But if you did push my limit , I won't be like this.
I don't know who to talk to , so I post on blogs.
If everything keep in my heart,
One day , it might burst.
If she really feel this world is unfair,
More people out there is suffering,
Not only her , why do I have to take all her anger?
If she facing stress, I am too.
She said her job is more than 5 dollar per hour ,
Then complaint to the boss, not me.
I am also not the boss.
I think I am too easy to be bullied.
@ 6:16 AM | 0 notes
Hhahahahahahah :DDD !!
Result maybe improve.
But not up to standard ... SAD T>T
I want good results , but how come the good results
not coming to me .. Crying !!
Man , Please help me !
Commit sucide , settle everything?
No !! That cant come across my mind.
Okay , lets work harder more.
After a few appointment or session of dental,
my money flew away in BIG SUM..
SAVING , NOT SUCCESS.
How?
Maybe no money to go poly ?
@ 6:16 AM | 0 notes
Putong putong !!
Heartbeat always beat damn fast when i am with him.
What happen to me ?
Did i like him more this time ?
Aish , being in love is nice.
But then , it is also not nice.
I am seeing him from far,
did he know?
I am suffering from keeping my distance from him ,
did he realised?
I am thinking of him all the time ,
did he feel it?
I am doing all sorts of things,
yet he knew nothing.
It is hard to like someone.
Especially being one sided love.
I dont know what are you thinking.
I dont know how you feel.
I wont know it unless you tell me.
We both are like strangers even though we knew each other
for five years.
Time flies, but my feeling didnt change abit at all.
And how can i expect a stranger to like me ?
I am mad , insane , gonecase in someways.
Whenever i am watching dramas, when romantic scenes
on screen , i will imagine the couple is both of us.
Nice dreams , Nice thinking , but will never happen.
Everytime thinking of you , being with you , i am so happy.
Then when the sudden thought came by, made me to be realistic.
Telling myself , no this wont happen in anyways, you wont like me
you know it is heartbrokening. PAIN.
Being in this pain all the times.
Being in the same class, wanting to forget you.
Forgetting you became an impossible thing to do.
Hoping those feelings will vanish one day ,
but it become stronger as days went by.
I am seeing you , i am with you, i am almost near you.
i cannot have you , i cannot tell you.
I am afraid if i confess to you,
you will avoid me even more.
Now , we are not even talking.
Even is , it is through passing by my friends.
If i really tell you i have feeling for you,
i may not be able to see you again.
Plus i dont have any courage to open my mouth ,
confessing my love...
Maybe it is better if i shut my mouth up.
I am wondering...
What the hell happen to us?
You talked to me for the first , second and third year...
Everything changed since last year.
I want to know what happen.
But something in my body is holding me back.
Whenever you are in my sight , i will move further away..
Hoping you wont get near me.
This is not me...
You are first guy i am afraid.
Afraid in the way
I cant get near you.
Not because you are fierce.
Not because you are handsome.
Just because i am afraid the words will slip off my mouth.
I cannot say , it will let us become more unrelated.
From friends become classmates become classmates that dont talk.
It is totally two people from two different world.
I know i am ridiculous.
Liking you but cannot tell you.
People always say if you like someone , must tell that someone,
or else you will regret it later.
I dont dare , i dont know.
I dont know your feelings towards me ,
so i am hesitating.
whether to tell you or not.
Can you at least tell me ,
i am your friend or a stranger to you?
If i know that you dont like me earlier,
maybe the feelings wont be at a state where
you say forget you cannot forget.
Tell me , please.
let me know so i wont regret.
THANKS...
