Nlevel is coming.
I am not ready.
Why am i always so last minute?
When i likes this couple,
i want them to be together in real life.
I dont know why this thing make me to
be so narrow-minded.
I hope i wont be like this when i grow older.
i wont be jealous of the girl touching the guy i like.
but i am jealous when other girl touch the guy, whose is the boyfriend
of the girl i like.
I think i am insane.
i am real jealous and angry when other girls
touch FTisland. Real jealous and angry :D
i finally forget about him (CM).
i have about two or three weeks did not mention about him.
I finally put down the biggest stone in my heart.
now i can finally live in freedom.
do not need to worry about losing my image in
front of him , i can do what i like.
Showing the original me.
I DID IT!
if i can do this , i can do well in N level.
SANDY hwaiting~~!


Waaah...
I now beginning to feng xiaohudui.
An old group, shit!!
what happen to me sia?
Like old people...
6 people actually lose to 3 people.
Please comeback faster sia...
And i am crazy about HZGG...
Siao liao me.!
Okayy, now not the time to be crazy about Idols.
It is time to work hard.
FOR N LEVEL.
i cannot lose her anymore.
Hwaiting.!!
Chinese , Social Studies & English.
These three are the subjects to be tested first.
Hwaiting!!!
N level , Hwaiting.
Sandy , please wake up..
Not the time for playing now.
It is time for working hard...
You have to work hard to achieve your goals , remember??
N level , please let sandy to work hard...


i hate this feeling every time after an exam.
Losing , failing...
My mid year are way better than my prelims.
Waaah, i know weehiang is clever and hardworking.
But i just cant be like her , you want me how?
I cant sit there studying the whole day.
I cant memorise everything like her.
I cant do well in my POA and English just like her.
I cant means i cant.
I hate exams right now.
If this world do not have education ,
i will never study.
My head is going to explode because of studies.
I admit , i study just for the sake of winning not i want to study.
I will never willing to study without winning.
Midyear is a big da ji to me already.
but i didnt study for prelim , so i wont expect so much.
now, i really need to find my interest, motivation and determination in
studies again. Please, help me.
So i can do well in chinese.
A1 for POA.
C4 for English.
A1 for maths.
c5 for Amaths.
b3 for Combined Humans,
b3 for Science.
I really need this marks.
I hope i can really fo well in my N level.
I hope my english can be better.
But how hard i studied , this is the result i am going to take.
results for prelim.
I know i am stupid , i know i am not hardworking.
But i cant change , i just cant change.
i also really hope to do well then people can praise me.
And i wont feel so bad.
But i cant study , i really cant study.
I really i will do well for N level.
Now not the time for being disappointed or scold myself.
It is the time for me to study. To do better.
I am really not happy with my prelim marks.
Not because i lose to her.
Is because i did lousier than my prelim.
Really. i CANT STAND FAILING.
SEC3 AND 4 , IS THE AGE I HATE THE MOST.
AS I FAIL THE MOST IN THIS AGE.
i really dont know what to do.
Say want study, but i am lazy.
Just hope that i can become smart.


AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Blur blur already did 6 paper.
i am afraid of tmr amaths paper.
i just wish for a pass.
Please help me.
A pass for amaths.
Seriously i need that just pass for amaths.
Today physics and maths,
i tikam all the way.
Never study.
I also wish for a pass for maths and physics.
Didnt study.. SAD!!
Waah, i think i will fail this prelim.
Geography and SS , i anyhow do.
Totally did not understand what they asking.
SS , dead meat.
SBQ, lack of time , cant do properly.
Geography, didnt study everything.
so during exams all use guess.
english, i think my grammar and complete sentences got problem.
Chinese , i think i wrote out of point.
Hope tmr can give me luck for the 2 difficult paper..
How? amaths & english.
really need to beat myself tmr.
if i cant do..
Wahlao.. i am totally freak out.
I have no more confidence.
OKAY , i didnt even have confident in the first place.
i felt like study and never study no difference.
SANDY ,please wake up.
Study and never study is a big difference.
I have to study.
I need to study.
I must study.
UNDERSTAND ? SANDY LIM?
PLEASE WAKE UP.
STUDY. AND HOPE A PASS FOR ENGLISH AND AMATHS.


My diary time.
Seriously , i am so unlucky these days.
Lost my memory card.
Srewed my exams.
Burn my finger.
Wahlao, why so suay sia?
Is it because i forget to wear whole body red?
Suay.
My precious memory card.
As it is called memory card,
it contains my memory.
I said before what also can lost,
only my memory card cant lost.
Now , dunno drop at where..
I wish time can rewind till the time i dropped the pouch.
T,T i want my memory card back!!
Exams , i scewed all the paper i took.
English , i did it with a sleepyy brain.
SocialStudies, i had not enough time to do.
(i didnt even wrote my name)
Geography , i wrote all wrongly causing to lose many marks.
Chinese, i dunno what i am writing.
Shit!! This prelim will fail very badly...
HOW?
My hopes are really dashed.
but at least please return me my memory card.
you know the feeling?
it is like you lost your family member.
I want it back!
i am damn sad and angry now.
I just want back my memory card.
Yes. I did it.
I never think of him since monday..!
Sandy , you did it!
Even in school , he is near you.
you also had no feelings!
Sandy , you make it.
But you had sacrifice a lot of thing to achieve this.
Finally , sandy you had totally forget about of him.
Yeassshh. I am going to forget him totally...
Defined the word love.
why am i always in a stuck position?
i cant make the decisions for myself.
thats why i am suffering now.
indeed. sometimes , with the sight of you,
it really irritates me.
i am feeling so lost now.
is it true that in a life of a person ,
it always had up and low?
but i had never experience up.
i always on the low, or even lower.
Positive. Man , Sandy.
I am tooooo sleepy that i cant think what i wanna write.
SO ANYONG!!:D


Nowadays , my blog is written all over by my feelings
instead of what is happening on that day.
Hahas, blog is the place i show my feelings.
As what i say , no one is going to listen.
after writing on the blog , i feel much better.
and after talking to janet.
cause i find no one understand me as much as she did.
haix, this world is changing.
people around me also changed.
I dont know is i changed or they.
i really cant understand them.
they have the thinking are totally different from mine.
Hehes, maybe i am too lazy to see what is around me.
I really feel damn lost nowadays.
Being crazy over Ftisland , i am not so.
Studying like mad , i am not.
My heart is totally to him , not really.
Say the truth, after listening
the conversation between him and wh.
i really have no hope of him liking me.
on monday , national day celebration,
he keep looking at wh , makes me feel
i should forget him.
Okay, fine.
I will forget him and focus on my studies.
Sandy , arent you pro at acting you dont like him?
then do it now.
make him feel you dont even care for him.
If you like me , please tell me.
If not , please let me go.
If you like her , please tell her.
Dont make my heart feel so pain,
everytime i see you and her being so close.
I will grateful to you next time.. for letting me go.
you know what hurts the most?
is to see the person you loved loving your BEST friend.
so please, if you dont like me.
dont ever like my best friend.
i know i am selfish.
but it really hurts when i see you liking her.
it is pain. you know the feeling?
if you really like her, then i really cant do anything
but to let go.
but i really wish to leave that school if this happens.
no girls can see their admire liking their best friend
and act like nothing happen.
thats why i am stunned when they ask
how do you react if you bias like your friend.
i wanted to reply , change bias.
but thats really cant happen.
when you like a person,
you cant change so fast.
but just to end this feeling quickly.
i hope faster end secondary school,
so whoever you like,
i wont feel the pain anymore.
end, it has all ended.
cause i know the person you like now,
will never be me.
and i am not that lucky to have someone
i like to like me.
I must learn to let go,
cause i know things wont remain the same.
I must learn to be strong,
so the next feelings i had,
i wont be in such a pain.
I really need to stop liking you.
i know already.
girl's sixth sense is always accurate.
so i am very sure you like her.
Sandy , it is time to let go.
Let go!! let it go!!
i dont know why,
one sided love why so pain?
Not being able to tell him you like him ,
and you have to bear seeing him liking others.
this world is not fairy tales,
so this kind of things wont happen.......
Give up bah, let it go!
Forget him ... Why is he in my class?
or else i already forgot him.
Hwaiting.. forgetting him now is much better than when he
likes your friend. So jiayous in forgetting him.
and iin studies.
the prelims this thursday.
i really wanted to get good result.
but every time i said this ,
my results suck.
so i am not going to say anymore.
hehe.


I dunno why.
i like him more now.
i know , he already know i like him.
so he had such a big distance between me and him.
and Elissa seems to like him too , if not,
she already knew i like cm.
I always dream about being together with CM.
but it is just a dream.
and dream wont come true.
nowadays , he always with ZW , i think he like her.
and he always talk to other girls.
but there is not even one chance he talk to me.
even is borrowing stuff.
first half year , he ask from me.
now, only ask from wh.
cm , am i really invisible to you?
i know sometimes i ignored you.
but at least i gave reaction.
and i lose all hopes of being with you nowadays.
cause i think you didnt even treat me as your classmates.
since like that , i shall give up.
i am really shy to even near you,
let alone talking to you
please be considerate for my feelings.
but i really think i like you.
haixx.
i think no one in this world will like me.
they choose me , not i choose them.
this is reality.
but once i really like someone,
i really want that person to like me too.
i am stubborn ..
it is already 4 years,
why arent you doing any action?
i think i shouldnt tell wh at the first place.
before telling her.
i dare talk to cm,
and even dare to start the conversation,
just like when we are in sec1 and 2s.
but since i told her after last year december holiday ,
i dun even dare to talk to him ,
dun say start the conversation.
i remember ,
once in eastcoastpark (sec2 class outing)
wh and i ride on bicycle, then he called my name many times.
home econ for sec 1 , he is my partner.
we always play togehter.
then for ibmc , he and i sat together .
but that time , he like th.
this year ,
he is shy to ask me for my geog paper,
made me mistook that he like me.
i really felt very sad that all his friends are not in our class.
sometimes ,i want to pity him and sit beside him.
but i cant , i just cant.
i cant bring myself to do that.
CM.
you is my world , but i am nothing to you.
if i am i , and you are you, it would be better.
i wish from the start , i didnt get to know you.
since it is like this,
i must learn to let go.
and take this as an experience.
even though is my one sided love.
but it is more suffering than being in love.
to you,
maybe i am only a person that is in the same class as you.
to me,
you are not only my classmate and is my first crush.
you know? there is many times ,
i wanna hear you say you like me.
and there is many times ,
i want you only focus on me.
maybe virtual world is much better world.
i hope
if you know , please at least give me an answer,
please only you and me.
if you dont know , i will let go.
I really wish i can do that.
even if you dont like me ,
please dont ignore me..

Ohhhh.....
Hahahahahahha...
today is so fun in schoollll.
V.E , Candy, Elissa , Joey
Huiting and WeeHiang...
we had to do a collage.
(small pieces of papers stick together to make a picture.)
so funn..
they are sooo funnnnyyy.
huiting and joey cut the picture.
me weehiang and candy paste.
elissa do the writing...
hahahahaha.
ohhh.. i had a dreamt ytd.
is that cm and wh together.
they like each other
then i had no choice and tell wh this:
since i cannot control the feelings.
i had no choice but to let go.
i also cannot ask cm to like me, right?
but if i had any decision , you cant say no.
then the next day,
i told teacher i wanna change seat with cm ,
coz i cant see clearly.
then teacher let to change...
then i sit with ws.
but that period of time ,
i hate L so i like to challenge my marks with him.
then he suddenly saw me so sad.
so ask me what happen.
i told him :
the person i been liking him for four years
actually like my best friend.
that time , cm think how can i be so strong ?
after someone i like for so long actually like her friend.
then one recess, he pull me out and ask me ,
he: dont you know?
i : know what?
he: you really dont know?
i: you dun tell me , how i know? aiya , i go back class first.
(then he hold my hand)
L saw it.. (in my dream , L fallen for me , vomit!)
then he push cm hand away and ask him to stop harrassing me.
he then pull me back to class.
i ask him on the way.
i: what happen to you? let go of my hand.
L: just go lar , and stop talking to him.
i: what happen to you sia? i talk to him , your problem ar?
L: ya , my problem.
then we reach the classroom.
with anger in me , i just walk back to my seat(beside ws)
then L ask to change seat with ws.
then i think , is he maddd?
later ,,... if i had any questions on amaths ,
he will teach me..
as he is fierce , so i dun want to teach by him.
i: okay , i ask other people.
L: okay lar , i teach you nicely.
like this , my result improve.
but the drastic change is ,
L with me ,,
CM with WH!
Wahleu... I want CMMM..
another want dream.
is that cm and wh together.
they like each other
then i had no choice and tell wh this:
since i cannot control the feelings.
i had no choice but to let go.
i also cannot ask cm to like me, right?
but if i had any decision , you cant say no.
then the next day,
i told teacher i wanna change seat with cm ,
coz i cant see clearly.
then teacher let to change...
then i sit with ws.
after school , CM pulled me out of the classroom.
i: what lar?
he: dont you know?
i: what thing? dun tell me how i know?
he: you cant feel something? something important?
i: nothing . oh , you and wh together?
he: dun you feel jealous?
i: why do i feel jealous?
he: i know you like me , but you really cant feel anything when i said i like wh?
i: what can i feel? must i be really sad then you happy?
he: i like you!
i:you really need your medicine...
he: i really like you. wh and i are just putting up a show. so you can like me.
i: i already like you , why do i still need to like you?
he:so i can have you totally , and you can forget about your ftisland.
i: i really dunno what is in your mind.. gotta go...
he held my hand and hug me tightly...
i:let go of me ! or i tell wh..
he: she already knew i like you..and now.
he hugged me even tighter.
DIAO , so mushy , i dun like... OWWWW vomit*
hshs. but thats just a dream.
and it will never be true.
it is only my wishful thinking.
but it is great of dreaming you liking me.
it felt great even it is fake..

waahh. my results is getting bad to worse..
wahleuuu...
i scare wh win me..
but thats is confirm she will win me.
see midyear, she win me so muchhhh....
siao liao lar..
why i am not clever?
not clever nevermind,
i still not pretty.
not pretty , not clever , nevermind,
i am hot-tempered.
still nevermind , i dun have a good figure *(FAT)
wahlao , i really wish i can win leonard and weehiang
during prelim and n level..
really hope so..
i want to win them in prelim and n level....
please give me back my motivation in studies,
my interest in studies and my determination in studies..
i really need them now...
pleasssse...
i need them ,
to win themmmm!!!
please.....
thankyou..

waaahhh T.T
why am is so stupid?
what subject also cannot handle.
being stupid is worst enough ,
i am lazy..
Like this , i wont be able to get a good grades.
why am i being like this?
STUPID!!
I am sooo STUPID !!
i think i wont be able to score a good grades.
i am my prelim will be more worse than wh.
i didnt study at all.
today's maths mock exam ,
i also didnt study.
i think i will fail this mock exam,
more than half of the paper , i cant do.
haix.. SANDY,
people out there are studying double hard,
you at here playing and slacking double hard.
wh say she didnt study ,
who will believe?
her acting so good.
somemore , everytime she say she didnt study,
she at home already study lorh.
so results so good.
being too honest is not good,
always been bluff.
i every time tall them honestly i didnt study,
at last only i didnt study!
stupid hor? i am so stupid hor?
stupid until everyone see me also scared.
TOO STUPID ALREADY.
sometimes i really dont like sharing my notes.
i am the one who did all the notes through nights.
then they just took it like it is theirs.
that is what i dont like.
i hate sharing my own notes.
what they study , i also got study .
why need look at mine?
aLOL...
today maths the drawing thing,
wh last minute ask joey so she know,
i have no one to ask.
confirm wrong!!
so many wrong!!
and my sis , fb friends is i spent many many years to have that
much of friends, it is my hardwork.
and she just took it like it is nothing.
my hard work , not nothing!
understand?
so i hate sharing my notes and my hard work....
ALASTO?

OWNED BY: Sandy Lim
STONE CRACKED: 4 July '95
SCHOOL(s): KHS'02-07 / MPSS'08-'12 / TP'13-'16
COLOUR OF MY LIFE: White and Black.

Sandy is MY name :D !
I am just ranting all my unhappiness and frustration about my life.
Of course it will not only be negative sides.
Life is full of challenges.
TAKE IT, LEARN IT and REMEMBER IT.
Enjoy if you like it or LEAVE if you hate it.
Simplicity is the only rule in my game.
It's all my personal feelings and I am not pin-pointing anyone.
SO DON'T FEEL OFFENDED.
This is all about it.
Admires, Loves, Hatred, Jealous, Dislikes!
Saranghaeyo, Sukidayo, Wo Ai NI, I love you.
Komowo, Arigato, Xie Xie,Thank you.

I ♡ Ft island & ARASHI & KinKi Kids & Yabu Kota!

WHAT KEEPS MY LIFE GOING: FOODS. DRAMAS. SLEEP. FRIENDS.
WHO MOTIVATES ME: FT ISLAND & ARASHI & KINKI KIDS & YABU KOTA.
HOW I SURVIVE: CHIONG DRAMAS OVERNIGHT. BAD-MOUTHING PPL I HATE WITH MY BESITES. TALK ABOUT LIFE RANDOMLY.



SU-KA:
♥ ARASHI
♥ FT Island & WON BIN
♥ KINKI KIDS
♥ YABU KOTA
♥ HCM, MY CRUSH
♥ Good things to happen
♥ Spending quality time with my HAO PENG YOU
♥ Doing what I like & having time for myself


BUAY SONG:
X When idiots talk bad about my idols
X When things do not happen as I wish
X People who literally ignored me
X Taking in all those shitty things by myself
X Double face BASTARD. Bootlickers. FAKERS.
X Separations

These are my LIKES and DISLIKES :D


This world is so amazing!
BUT, virtual world seems to be more REAL than real world.
Everyone is putting a mask over their face to fit in this society.
No one is ever going to show you their real side anymore.
Be strong.
That's the only way to survive in this ruined world.