Today is a Friday. 29April2011.
on thursday, which is on 28april2011.
as we had a mock exam on tuesday,
so we did not arrange the tables and chairs.
It is so coincidence that earnest's table is behind my table.
As CM is a good friend so he sat with earnest.
which is so damn close to me. and if we did change our tables .
he is sitting table that infront of the table next to me.
Wooohahaha.
Recess, we did not left the classroom.
Play like mad.
And cm suddenly said that he likes SNSD.
So random lor.
and at first, he said he hate koreans, now he like korean.
and before that, i asked Elissa to bring me home.
Then cm said he also wanted.
Walao, only know how to snatch.
Yesterday, in the morning.
Elissa told me that cm asked her to bring him home after school.
And he is so damn close to ZhouWei.
I found out he likes someone , but do not dare to chase her.
I wondering who is the lucky person.
To me, is either weehiang or zhouwei.
and during VE, he walked around to ask us to check our particular.
i hope he did not came over, but at last he did.
too afraid, i did not checked and just sign.
The only thing is that he called my name twice.
Hahahahaha.
Today, not much interaction.
He always with zhouwei, i think he like her.
And yaya is leaving this Sunday. 1may.
wonder the life would be how after she left.
SAD! CM , who do you like? Huh? WeeHiang or ZhouWei?
Tell me!!!
Utterly disappointed.... Urghhhh!
EXAMS IS COMING!
i hope that i can really excel in this MidYear!
if i can do this midyear, i can do the prelim and N level.
I am scared of my combined humans,
Amaths, POA, Emaths, Sciences, English and Chinese.
I hope i can really do weelll.
I can be hardworking right now!
Be hardworking to study all subjects.
to me, every marks count.
So SANDY , HWAITING!
do your best to fight against others!
You can , sure can!
AIM: FULL MARKS FOR EVERYTHING!

Love is what?
how to know if someone like you?
to me,
when you like a person,
you will feel shy in front of that person
you will try to make that person jealous
you will act strangely in front of that person
you will become another person in front of that person
you will sad when you see that person with another girl
you will always looking at him
you will try to catch his attention
you will not embarrass yourself in front of that person
I am going through that stage now.
and i hope he wont know that i like him
or else he wont be talking to me anymore.
Really? if a person likes you,
he will tease you? he will always talk to you?
but he is not showing that kind of syptoms
so i think he really hate me,
i think he thinks i am a insane person.
a person acted strangely in front of him.
i think he really dun like.
I DUNNO HIS FEELINGS!
i want to know. but i dun even dare talk to me.
i hope i am ohhani, so i have the courage to confess.
the courage to talk and look at him.
i think i like him tooo much already.
till i forget that we are classmates.
but i am not hoping to continue like this till graduation.
i hope that he will tell me his feelings.
at least tell me so i can give up.
at least he tell me he dun like in person.
like this, i will give up straight away.
but i dun dare talk to him, he dun dare talk me!
HOW? can anyone tell me?
to him, maybe only pretty girls caught his attention.
ugly girls like me, he wont like.
a stupid , ugly , not kind hearted person like me.
i think he will only hate me.
wont even look at me.
to me!
i dunno how to describe my feelings.
but i felt like heartstricken.
so sad, so pain.
i hope this will end sooon...
soon or later.... it will end.
Keun Na sot!

hehehe,,,
i have no mood to study these days.
i have went back to feng ftisland again.
i thought i promised not the feng them after my exams?
Why am i being like that again?
haix...
i had no feeling for cm alr.
after knowing that he went to Malaysia.
and somemore the same time as weehiang.
i am sad after i knew that.
but what can i do?
he doesnt even know that i like him.
and i cant wish him to do things that only i accept.
Right?
Should i be brave like OhHaNi?
confess to him?
maybe....
i am feeling funny right now.
i always wished people to keep an eye on me.
Doing things that really crossed the line.
but now? cm dun even really care me.
i always felt useless in front of TH.
i always dream that cm will like me,
but whenever i th is in front of me,
i felt totallly like an idiot.
thinking things that will not happpen.
Like an idiot, always think that cm likes me,
like an stupid person.
i am always behaving strangely these days.
i did not dare to look at his eyes, when i dare in the past.
now, i had no mood to study,
always look at KPOP.
and still hope for top ten? Sandy, forget it,
unless you start to be hardworking all over again.
win the rest, firstly, you had to win yourself.
and i hated cm for wadd?
Sandy , you totally went overboard.
I hope you can come over your senses now.
WAKE UP, ITS IS TIME!
CM WILL NEVER LIKE YOU.
HE WILL NEVER LIKE YOU.
EVEN IF HE LIKE AN UGLY PERSON, HE ALSO WONT LIKE YOU.
SO , GET OVER IT.
IT IS TIME.
WAKE UP.
i reallly hope no one look my blog before.
Please wake up, stop dreaming.
YOU HAD TO BE HARDWORKING NOW.
Exams is around the corner.
You have to start STUDYING.
not playing....
Hwaiting.

I like the way you are,
i like the way you is,
but i dun like the attitude you gave me.
A cold shoulder everytime you see me.
A non laughing face,
a feel of hatred,
a feel that you dislike me.
I can look at you at a far distance,
i cant look into your eyes directly.
i cant talk to you,
i cant even move when i saw a sight of you.
What's wrong with me?
What happened to me?
I can have a no end conversation with you in the past,
i can joke around with you,
i run after you when you tease me,
now, things changed.
But why? why things changed?
My feeling for you never changed.
Maybe you changed.
maybe you really changed,
to a person that i totally dunno.
Saranghae, hajima, nor molla!

hehehehe...
I am damn sad that i cant go to FTi concert!
It is on JULY15, and i had been thinking for soo
long to just go their concert, now they are comin,
my national exxams is nearing.
so i cant go at allll!!!!
Wahhhh, My ftisland laogong!
Wiping tearrrs, but one day i sure go!
confirm sure going next time.
And that CM ,
after teacher praise him,
his smile is as wide as the ocean!
He is going to malaysia too?
Walao, always the same as WeeHiang!
WTF! but nevermind , these days
i am not so interested in him.
Instead, i am more interested in JungMin.
I know i had to study, not feng on KPOP now!
I will get back to study once i am fully rested.
Wahahahaha.
I hated himmmmmmm!
Hope my results will like rocket
and rise to the top!
And i can conquer the world with my marvalous results.
But i think that is just a dream.
NO! SANDY , YOU HAD TO BELIEVE YOURSELF!
YOU CAN DO IT!
LETS JUST DO MY BEST, HWAITING!
Top ten, the distance is not far...
Sandy, hwaiting....

MY RESULTS!
MY STUDIES!
i want back my result!
I want to get A1 for maths,
first for maths.
A1 for every subject.
Really, i wanted it so much that i cant do anything.
I am stuck when comes to studiees.
I wonder where the hell my knowledge went.
i want back my knowledges!
I want!!!!!!!
i want to get into top ten.
i realllllyyy wantted,
but GOD, please help me!!!!!!!
Please!!!!
I wanted the top ten position.
Once i get into top ten, maybe i will do well in my
N level and maybe CM will started to talk to me.
By that time, i will sure get all my courage to answer.
SURE, i promised!
I want top ten position and i want cm to like me!
PLEASSE...........

Mhahahah
TOday, chinese oral very happy as cm is near me...
He is totally damn near..
And he always wanted Elissa to change seat.
As elissa is sitting beside me, so i think he wanted to sit with me.
No , i am thinking too much.
He already has a beautiful Kat beside him,
I should not interfere.
When i went into twitter, they are talking together so HAPPILY!
Should not enter twitter at all!
Haix...
Make me felt happy for nothing.
Not all girls like bieber man!
Like me, only love FTI and SS501!
Aiya, dunno what to do.
Felt so useless when cm kena scolding by ms poon.
I dunno.
And he only talks to me when someone asked him to.
Should i learn OhHaNi?
Forget CM, and wish for a better person to come out?
Aish, MOLLA!
CM doesnt even think about me.
Today , i am engrossed in talking to Alex and JunJie.
JunJie is soooo CUTE!
haix, i think i will like him if i know him first.
He is much better than CM,
at least he talks to me without ppl asked him to.
Aiya, just forget it lar!
Now, sandy only love herself and her family.
CM, i dun care you like me or not.
And i wish you stop makin me feel useless!
Cause i am not HANI..
Hani gave everything up to baekseungjo.
I m sorry, i wont!
I will stick to my rule! my life.
NO! i want to hate you, HCM!
i wanted to hate you! BUT I CANT!
why?
Today he said thank you to everyone except me,
till weehiang asked him to!
And i dun want him to sit beside me,
so i disagreed Elissa to change seat,
as if he sit beside me, i cant move at all!
CM, stop!
I saiid stop.
Making me feeling HURT!

Ohh, he is obsess in Kat Bdae,
but i already preparing to give up on him,
why dun i just dun care,
instead i am feeling jealous.
Why? Can you tell me?
How lar??, The feeling is strange, very strange.
I wanted him to be jealous when i with another guy,
but he is not.
I just bought FTISLAND RING,
woohoo, married to FTISLAND already.
But he seems that he is heck care.
I totally do not know what he is thinking and feeling.
Haix, nevermind, maybe i am totally to ugly.
so he dont give a damn.
My result is still the same,
maybe sec 1 and 2, i didnt give any hardwork,
so i dunnoe what is hardwork,
i thought everyday studying is counted as studying,
but it is not,
Have to give everything to study.
and i am slack in sec3, so now i cant
be hardworking right away.
Gonna, be VERY HARDWORKING,
so i can earn my turtles and LiBaoEn soft toys.
Sec 1 and 2 is known as abit hardworking,
Sec 3 is known as SLACK,
Sec 4 is known as I DUNNO.
Maybe nowadays, i gonna be attentative in class.
so i can understand the topic easily.
Muahahahaha....
Yaya said that WEEHIANG IS CLEVER,
when i heard that, i am totally not happy.
So i gonna to prove that i am clever too.
and show to cm that, i am not a person who only thinks of
playing and boys, and maybe he will talk to me again.
He knows everyone birthday except mine.
Hiaxxxx......
Sandy Lim had to succeed this time.
Confirm, she is going to take over the first place..
Maybe she will concentrate on studies.
as yaya said her that she is not hardworking enough,
Watching tv while studying is not counted as studying.
And i have to use my results to show that i am PRO.
today, 17/4/2011,
I had a bet with yaya,
if i get into top ten in midyear,
i goin to have all the things i wanted.
And maybe, cm will begin to notice me again.
Sandy , you are a person that everyone had to look up on you again.
Dun let the sjab people think you are useless.
You are the best.
Hwaiting.
Dun let the sjab people to continue bully you!
I have to do this, TOP TEN, my position!
i am going to aim the 6th position!
Jiayous....
Amaths, Poa, i am goin to understand you.
Combined Humans, i am goin to memorise you.
Maths and Sciences, i goin to win you by getting A1.
English and Chinese, i goin to practice you!
SO SANDY, IT IS EASY TO STUDY.
Sandy,. JIAYOUS!

omo, omo...
CM is really ridiculous.
He looks like a totally stranger to me.
his result are good, which i cannot be expected.
he is handsome. and he totally match the character of KHJ
in playful kiss. Quiet, strange character and clever and handsome.
just that no girls like him.
his result let me have a minute of shock.
the point that my tears are coming out on the spot.
his chinese, maths, poa, let me have a big shock.
WOW. my classmates are mad, their result only up no down.
haix, my turn, double hard.
my maths. i think i am going to hate maths forever.
till i have my joy in maths.
hehes. Maybe , i think maybe he knows already.
As i do not talk to him, i avoid him,
i am shy when i saw him, i always look at him.
Aigoo, my head is getting bigger and bigger.
Mr ng, my form teacher always pick on me.
Every thursday, confirmed that he ask me to do my duty.
haix, life is like that.
I am going to beat cm with my result.
i cannot be oh ha ni now.
i have to be sec1 and sec2 shuying now.
I think give on cm now is better than giving up later.
i wanna say something.
i shows my angry face to him this morning.
when i want to walk in to the class by back door,
he is walking towards me,
as he is blocking my way, i am angry
and walk the front door. Dunno what is his feeling.
i only know everytime recess,
when i am in class, he will go out.
when i am not in class, he will stay in class.
i remember this dunno when.
Our geog teacher wanted us to pass back our geog
paper to cm, when cm wanted to collect the paper from me,
instead of asking me, he ask elissa.
and what makes me not happy is,
that he has stopped talking to me already.
i hope he doesnt know,
i have to lie to weehiang once.
that i do not like cm.
so she will stop acting as match maker,
pullling me closer to cm.
and when cm ask wh for puncher this morning,
my puncher is right on the table.
and weehiang kept looking at me till elissa
pointed out that cm wants puncher.
embarrassing sia....
i have to accept what i am,
i also have accept what my hole puncher am.
Sandy lim, yourself only!
only yourself.
dun care what he felt.
what he felt is his problem.
and i already lazy to care him!
i hate cm for behaving like that.
change his pe to yellow and he nevers change back into uni.
and he had changed his character,
cm, please dun act cool..
nevermind,
cause i dont look at him so he dont look at me.
cause i never talk to him, so he never talk to me.
cause i avoid him, so he avoid me.
cause i am shy in front of him, so he is shy in front me.
thats is my conclusion.
i cant wait to know who cm like,
but i know i will be heart stricken
after i know the truth.
Sandy, hwaiting.
In both STUDIES and RELATIONSHIP!

Today, had my mock exam...
Maths, oh oh...
why cant i do maths? why am i so stupid?
why i always make mistake?
why am i so careless?
why?
i took back my previous test paper,
i only got 14/20
Because of careless mistakes,
i lost 6 marks.
because i did not check properly,
i lose 6 marks.
why cant i do better?
this mock exam,
i think i going to fail very badly.
i forgot all the formula, steps. everything.
I am so so so STUPID.
the world most stupid person.
cant even do maths.
this and that, i cant do well.
i think i am too stupid to do anything well.
i am useless, arent i?
my physic, because of act smart,
i lose 2 marks,
because of lack of confident,
i lose 1 mark,
in the end, i lose, i did badly.
why just cant i became smarteR?
why ? why? why?
my maths, physics i already flunk.
hope tomorrow social studies, i ccan do a better job,
but where am i going to get back my confident?
where am i going to get back the trust i have in maths?
in test, in exams, in national exams?
Sandy , i think it is not enough to just study
3hrs per day, i am going to leave this netbook untouched,
unless i have time or have to do stuff ,
till mid year is over, then i touch this netbook again..
Sandy , better give your best in everything.
Endurance, Determination, Confindent,
all these, is what you need right now,.
Can i do it? Yes, i am going to do it.
STUDY STUDY, I MUST STUDY,
LOVE STUDY LIKE STUDY ONLY STUDY....
SANDY, YOU CAN DO IT....
Till results is out, this shows how much effort,
you had put in... And through this, is how your attitude to studies...
YOU CAN, YES YOU CAN!

Anyong....
I had a ridiculous dream yesterday.
the story goes like this.
I dream that cm house is being renovate and they came to
stay at our house.
Papa, jiejie, korkor, yaya and i sleep at the bedroom.
cm parent sleep at korkor room,
then cm sleep at my room.
then we go school together, i went for amaths,
then cm wait for me, then we together go back home.
When i go out with weehiang, i asked cm to go with us.
Play together. went to comic connection,
always talk about ftisland, then suddenly cm angry,
i ask weehiang to go home first, then ask what
happen to him? then he said he hate koreans,
then i said i will be careful to him.
then we went home....
we do our homework together, play together.
then one day, i go my room to play netbook, he also came in.
I dream that i think he is jealous that i like korean,,
then confess to me...
hehe, totally the same storyline as playful kiss,
only happy that i can always be with cm.
1 week 7 days, 1 day 24hours, 1 hours 60 minutes.
he also told me not to tell the class that we are
staying together.. then i bring him to meet my cousin,
stay beside him all the time.
after a few months, we went out together, just the two of us...
what a wonderful ddream, so i wish it can come true.

Should i confess?
Should i tell him?
that i like him?
i saw him taking picture with the girls,
i felt so sad that i wanted to cry.
i really wanted to tell him,
so i can let off the thing in my heart for so long.
but i am scared he will avoid me after that.
tears are really dropping.
heart is really hurting.
how can him make me feel so sad?
i think i really to like him le.
i wanted shout to him that i like him,
but i do not have the courage.
i want to hug him, i am not brave.
i wanna to do everthing with him, but i dun dare to.
I HOPE HE LIKE ME, NOT MY FRIEND.
i want the ending for us is the same as oh hani and baek seungjo.
i hope so, i hope we are having the same feeling.
i hope we have the same thinking...
i hope so....

there are so much hatred in me.
but i do not dare to let it out.
I had a feeling that i cant be with my friends anymore,
i have the insecure feeling which i shouldnt have.
nothing to talk in a conversation is the end of the conversation.
there is nothin much we can discuss anymore.
in the past, we had so many thing to talk about.
now, we had to think what we can talk about.
you gave me a feeling that you are leaving me.
In the past, my friend always called me sis,
now she call me by my name.
what had happen to us?
did you two plan to not talk to me?
or you two plan to hate me?
just tell me, i wont mind.
You all gave me a feeling that i should hate you.
neglecting you, ignore you, being enemies.
We all had admire to talk about, but now,
we only have studies to talk about.
time to find new friends?
or time to leave?
It is enough, i am telling to you.
I had a limit of tolerating,
if you both push it over,
maybe i can do something i never done before.
enough is enough, i am not a superwoman,
or a person with big heart without any anger in me.
i am a normal person, with the same heart,
the same anger, and the same temper.
I will explode anytime you push it further.
Forgetting my anger, or treat you like normal?
i am sorry, i cannot.
you always made feel like i am a dude.
the anger and hatred in me is too much that i cannot hold it any longer.
nevermind, i will throw it here.
but i do not know i should be happy or angry,
when i know cm said he hate koreans.
happy is because i think he is jealous that i like koreans.
it is my unwishful thinking.
angry is because he hate my korean.
so i am wondering whether i should be happy or angry.
I hope he likes me too.
can observe by his action that he doesnt like me.
cm always make me headache, and happy.
but i wish one day, one day like the scene in playful kiss.
he will like me one day.
okay, it is another unwishful thinking.
lets natural take its course.....

haix...
This person is really getting on my nerves!
He talks to the whole class except me!!!
and he always give me a kind of look!!!
hate him? like him? mollllaa.
he always maked me jealous!
he talks to elissa when there is only me and elissa,
he walks with the girls in my presence,
he wait till i walk then he walk, he walk with weehiang!
he dun laughed when earnest make fun of me!
he smiles to all girls excluding me, ....
But today, i went to hall first, he saw , then he also went.
recess, he stayed at classroom for the whole day without any friends.
early in the morning he talked to elissa,
going home, he waited at the amaths class.
Yesterday, recess, elissa and i were walking,
then suddenly he from the toilet come out,
he walk behind us to the spiral staircase.
Something that i am upset of is he cchange his pe to yellow colour,
so obvious that he likes weehiang...
Aiyaaa, i dont know...
he really talks to all the girls!
when come to me, he only can lend things or ask schoolwork!
why changed after sec3?
As earnest says, 2010 is a bad year!
Sec 1 and 2, i am happy that he always talks to me!
now, i only can see him from far away!
left two years, i hope one day he will tell me he like me~
in my dreams then have hahahahaas....
My results is losing weehiang agaain. like sec3,
i hope i can go bacck sec2, when cm talk to me, and i win weehiang.
but i know there is no one that will blessed me
or give me luck to win.
i have to depend on my hardwork and the luck given by God!
SandyyLim, Jiayous! as your name goes, lose already the win,
so lets believe it, that i will win!
one day, or midyear or n level!
i hope i can win, i want to win, i must win!!!!
Sandy, i believe that if you have confident , you can be better than the best! JIAYOUS! Get high result and defeat everyone....
TRYING HARD ON OT, MY ENGLISH CHINESE, POA AMATHS, CHEMISTRY PHYSIC, SOCIAL STUDIESS GEOGRAPHY, EMATHS!!!!! 9 SUBJECTS ONLY, WONT BE HARD!!!!!!
Sandy, believe tthat you can do it! your combined science and humans, your languages, you mathsss and your extra subject!!!
Hwaiting....

OWNED BY: Sandy Lim
STONE CRACKED: 4 July '95
SCHOOL(s): KHS'02-07 / MPSS'08-'12 / TP'13-'16
COLOUR OF MY LIFE: White and Black.

Sandy is MY name :D !
I am just ranting all my unhappiness and frustration about my life.
Of course it will not only be negative sides.
Life is full of challenges.
TAKE IT, LEARN IT and REMEMBER IT.
Enjoy if you like it or LEAVE if you hate it.
Simplicity is the only rule in my game.
It's all my personal feelings and I am not pin-pointing anyone.
SO DON'T FEEL OFFENDED.
This is all about it.
Admires, Loves, Hatred, Jealous, Dislikes!
Saranghaeyo, Sukidayo, Wo Ai NI, I love you.
Komowo, Arigato, Xie Xie,Thank you.

I ♡ Ft island & ARASHI & KinKi Kids & Yabu Kota!

WHAT KEEPS MY LIFE GOING: FOODS. DRAMAS. SLEEP. FRIENDS.
WHO MOTIVATES ME: FT ISLAND & ARASHI & KINKI KIDS & YABU KOTA.
HOW I SURVIVE: CHIONG DRAMAS OVERNIGHT. BAD-MOUTHING PPL I HATE WITH MY BESITES. TALK ABOUT LIFE RANDOMLY.



SU-KA:
♥ ARASHI
♥ FT Island & WON BIN
♥ KINKI KIDS
♥ YABU KOTA
♥ HCM, MY CRUSH
♥ Good things to happen
♥ Spending quality time with my HAO PENG YOU
♥ Doing what I like & having time for myself


BUAY SONG:
X When idiots talk bad about my idols
X When things do not happen as I wish
X People who literally ignored me
X Taking in all those shitty things by myself
X Double face BASTARD. Bootlickers. FAKERS.
X Separations

These are my LIKES and DISLIKES :D


This world is so amazing!
BUT, virtual world seems to be more REAL than real world.
Everyone is putting a mask over their face to fit in this society.
No one is ever going to show you their real side anymore.
Be strong.
That's the only way to survive in this ruined world.