After hearing my sister said that
cm do not want to continue Sec5,
it broke my heart.
i feel like the days are shorten.
5 months!
No is 4 months!
I dont want to be separated from him.
I want to see him.
i want to watch his actions.
i think after this holidays,
my eyes will always look at him.
Today, i went to teo heng with
my sister and meijun.
We had half an hour left before the thing start.
So we walk around the shopping mall.
in my mind, it is all about cm.
shopping with him,
singing with him,
eating with him,
walking with himm.
Everything with him...
But he is not staying for sec5.
And i am going to stay.
Why?
Why like that?
i cant see him for next year.
i feel that if i still dun confess to him.
I had no more chance.
this is what i think i will text him.
' if i still dun tell you my feelings,
i am afraid i had no more chance to tell you,
and i dun want regret for not telling you now,
actually .......... i like you,
but i hope you wont avoid me,
as we had only a little time left,
i hope you will act like you dunno,
and let me see you for the next few months,
before i am separated from you... '
but i do not have the courage, i dun have...
HOW?
i want to be with cm for the next few months!
how wish i have the courage to tell cm now.
I really want to know his feeling to me
before he go next year.
And i really dun want to be regretted for not telling him.
In tvs, they always say confess now before it is too late.
Had to try unless you dun want to be with him.
Say is always easy but do is difficult.
Hearing FTISLAND confess,
i hope he know what i feel for him now.
NO MORE TIME ALREADY,
he have to know that i like him and
give me a reply.
I dun mind being rejected but i mind being regretted.
I wont cry now even if he said he dun like me.
Cause i know his feelings...
Please help me this time.
You didnt help me during MID YEAR!!!!
Pleaseee. I hope he knew already,
i hope he can see through by my actionsss.
CM, I REALLY LIKE YOU BUT IF YOU DUNNO.
I REALLY DUN HAVE THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU.
How. What am i supposed to do now???
CMMMM, I DUN WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME.
I WANT TO WATCH YOU FROM FAR, FOREVER.
SEEING YOU MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
I want to say ,
i always say ftisland infront of you.
is not because i wanna show off,
or telling you that KPOPs is much better than you.
i want to see if you are jealous because of me.
and i avoid you because i dun dare to talk to you.
i dun dare to look at you because i feel
i am ugly, do not have the right to see you.
i dun dare talk to you, because i afraid to show you my teeth.
i dun dare near you because i dun want you to know
my ugly side.
I know i changed alot from sec2.
as sec2 , i dun like you as much as i like you now.
Now, i can say i love you instead of i like you.
I dare to talk to you in sec2 because my results are good,
so i feel i had the rights to talk to you.
now , my results like SHIT,
so i think i dun have the rights to talk to you.
CM, please hint me whether you like me or not.
I really want to know...
I want to knoww.
i am trying so hard to see how you feel but i still dunno.
Whenever i saw you with other girls,
i will be jealous without knowing.
i think i really likes you.
HCM, you should know how i feel.
it is really hard being one sided love.
I am suffering alot.
One sided love is not easy.
i wont have one sided love again after i let go this feeling.
I make sure i wont.
it is pain, hard and difficult.
not knowing what the other half is thinking.
you like him and he dun like you, will make myself
feel useless and stupid.
everytime seeing him with other girls.
i will jealous.
i want to be someone dont have all this kind of feelings.
so i can be carefree.
CM, you been broking my heart since january till now!
I really cant stand anymore.
Till i have that courage,
i will confess to you right away.
for now, i will continue to act as if i dun care.
I will act i am your classmate only.
And i will try to let off this feeling before you go.
SANDY, YOU CAN DO IT!

how i wish cm will confess to me.
The more i wish, the more i cant have it.
Haix, it is okay even it is not real.
Let me dream of my happiness.
How i wish i am daring to type
' i love you ' on his wall.
SO he can see it.
How i wish the relationship with
is his name not weehiang name.
How i wish one day, he will walk up to
me and say : ' shuying, i like you! '
How i wish he will continue to talk to me,
and i wont avoid.
How i wish we can go to the same poly, same course.
How i wish i can stay with him.
How i wish i can sleep beside him all the time,
be with him all time, listenning to the words ' i love you'
he said to me everyday, help him do housechores,
with him do groceries, shopping with him,
study with him, go overseas with him, play with him.
Whatever i do, must be with him.
That looks so sweet, but it is not going to happen.
Lets dream more,
wish that he can do everything for me.
Wish that he will confess to me by this year.
wish that i know his feeling , at least it is better
by giving so much false hopes.
not going to happennn.
NOT GOING TO.
wish my results will be better,
wish i can go into top ten...
I wishes a lot of things, but i know nothing is going to come true.
But in my dreams, i will always dream of cm, the person i been liking him
for 4years, trying to make him jealous, but he did not get any hint.
Saranghaeyo , cm, geunden, nor mollaso.
I love you but you dunno.
Miandeh, i do not have any courage to tell you.
so i hope that this feeling will vanished,
or else i will be damn heart broken when we graduate.
VANISDHED!!!

ARRR.
i feel today cm want to get close to me.
He helped take report book.
He wait till i go then he go.
He actually can walk first,
but he waited behind then when i go , he also go.
Every recess, he can go with his friends to canteen.
But whenever i go canteen, he also go canteen.
Whenever i stay in class, he also stay in class.
This is all my thinking only.
Maybe he waiting for his friend to go then he go, not me.
Maybe he kind hearted, help me report book as he helped WH and Candy take too.
Maybe he is not hungry whenever i am in class.
Maybe he is hungry when i not in class.
Maybe , all is maybe.
How i wish cm also like me.
But this is all my thinking only.
I want to tell him i like him.
But i scared he will avoid me after he knows.
If i dun tell him,
i will never know how he feels.
I am confused.
His actions always mistook me that he likes me.
Now. i am totally into him.
Even there is FTISLAND, my heart only have him.
He is making my life damn damn confusing.
Please let me know whether he likes me.
But i think wont.
As my results is lousier than him.
My looks is ugly.
So i think he wont like me.
WTF, i lose to WH.
Cant even go top 10.
And the person blockin me is CM.
Wahleu, siam awhile first.
Let me go TOP 10.
Haiax... Sad for the whole day.
I LOVE CM.
I LIKE CM.
BUT I DUNNO WHETHER HE WILL LIKE ME ANOT.
I only know when we are talking about TVB drama,
it seems that he had watched too.
Hehe, He and i both watch tvb dramas.
Happy...
But not with my results. made me sad for the whole day.
And cm not consoling me.SAD....
I wanna be cm's gf, cm's wife.
But i think it is allll a dream.
and as you know, dream wont come true.
CM, wanna study together?
FOR N LEVEL?
pull close our relationship,
and pull higher our marks.
together we can go top 10,
and together go sec5?
Want?
i want with cm forever...
SARANGHAEYO, CM LAOGONG.
CM YEOBO, NOMO CHUWA...
CM AND SANDYLIM HWAITING!~!!

CONFUSED.
Should i drop amaths??
I been stressing over amaths,
i want to drop. But papa and yaya keep saying
experience the best.
Because of AMATHS, i cant go in top 10.
Cant win WeeHiang, Cant win CM.
Now, they keep asking me to continue AMATHS.
I dun like AMATHS, too difficult too stress.
I cant even catch what teacher is teaching.
I dun understand all the lesson.
I want to DROP but people say NO.
What can i do now?
i already told the teacher i want to drop.
Now they say NO.
wahleu, what am i going to do now???
I dunnnno!
Really dunno.
I hope for A1 for all subject.
ALL A1, now i only have one A1.
ALL C5....

Haix... My results...
I am so sad, with my marks...
I think i will did well for chem but it is so lousyyy.
I think i will fail amaths, physics and geography.
I am damnnnn SCARED!
I think i will fail the papers i havent take.
OMG! my english fail already...
Others subject is alr so so only,
Not even an A1! OMG, SANDY! You dying!
TOP 10 NO CHANCE ALR.
1st Candy
2nd Alex
3rd Huiting
4th Joey
5th Leonard
6th Weisang
7th Anthony
8th YeEun
9th Rachel
10th CheeMing!
I am dyingggg~
I think even 11th position also cant take!
I did really damn lousy this time round.
I think even WeeHiang also cannot win!
If included last term result, my result will definitely lousier
than WeeHiang.
SHIT lar..... HOW?
I cannnot le! I am tooooo STUPID!
Not HARDWORKING!
I am a useless person
A LOSER!
How? PAPA alr very angry all the bills and sister atittude.
If my result still like SHIT, papa will be damn disappointed!
Sandy ar, how come u so damn useless?
Even study also dunno, be a loser forever larhhh.
DAMN USELESS.
Even small small thing also cannot achieve,
next time how to do big things?
How to earn money?
Can you be more responsible to your work?
Better atittude to study?
cant you do it?
mrs lee tan favourite word, yes we can.
But deep inside my heart, no i cant
Better be smart during N level,
or else you will never be anything better!
UNDERSTAND???
I ammm sooo damnnn SAD!
How come CM made me even more SAD.
During PE, wh went to touch him like i dunno like that.
Somemore touch him in front of me.
I know she likes CM alr.
She liked him before.
Then somemore, i always embarrassed myself in front of him.
Walao, can you stop embarrassing myself?
I know he dun like stupid girls.
And i am one, A STUPID GIRL.
UGLY, STUPID, FAT PERSON!
i knew he will never like me.
But why am i still thinking about him?
Why am i still like an idiotic , stupid person liking him?
I am just making myself look bad...
I tried to be strong and paikia in front of him.
I don't even dare to go near him,
how would i dare talk to him?
Why am i so useless?
DONT EVEN DARE TALK TO THE PERSON I LIKE!
And i always show my trueself to someone i dun even like?
CM , if he know i have a bad temper!
Then i am really GG!
Kong ka kiao!
He always randomly walking here and there.
Without any preparation, he always talk to me.
And i dont know how to react.
so i always avoid his eyesight.
He always dun give me time to let me have the courage
to talk to him...
I am both losers in STUDIES and RELATIONSHIP!
No wonder your name starts with a LOSE!
You are going to LOSE forever.
Sandy, no hope le...
Ftisland i hope also cannot help me le.
Sec 1 and 2 , he always made fun of me,
talk to me, play with me.
Now , i dont know what happen,
he dun talk to me. Even if he talks to me,
it is always borrowing something.
Last time , we still can talk like me and weehiang now.
Maybe i dun like him so much in the past.
So i dare to talk to him.
Now, many people know i like him.
If i talk to him openly, they will start saying rubbish.
Made me damn awkward, so i dun dare talk to him!
What had happen to me and CM?
Sec 3 , he still can randomly talk to me.
Now , cannot already.
I remember we always compete with our results.
Maybe i am getting lousier, so he finds not exciting to compete results with me.
Maybe i really became lazier and stupier.
Learn a chapter, i can learn for 3 months then understand!
HAIX,,,, i cannot take it anymore.
I want to be like last time in SEC 1 AND 2
where cm always talk to me, where my results are good.
Not now,
where cm dun talk to me,
where my results are lousy!
T.T
Pleaseeee HELP me! Help me with my STUDIES!
PLEASE!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! T.T

Arghhhh...
I am so feng KPOP right now.
I am happy as Monday is the last day of MID YEAR!
But i am scared about the results...
I scared i fail everything, i had no confident right now.
HOW?
I think i wont be able to pass this mid year.
Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Lack of confident!
Me is reealllly damnn uselessss.
Even STUDY also dunno.
I am lousy in everything.
There is really nothing i can do
except for eat sleep and play.
Sandy Lim, you are a useless person.
Wahhhh!
Today POA and AMATHS.
I totally dun understand!
Arghh..
Last week, cm talk to me on facebook.
I am so SHOCK.
I thought he wont talk to me!
After that thing happen,
the next day in school.
He like wanted to get close to me. I think only.
Today, morning while walking the staircase with elissa,
i felt cm was behind me and he really did.
Then he walk past us,
suddenly he turned back, and ask us whether we have extra tie.
He cut short his hair, wow so handsome!
Ytd, dream alot with him.
in the end, i didnt really study alot. today go back school.
with empty knowledge in my brain.
I am really damn worry about my results.
But i only can pray now with all my heart.
There is nothing i can already!
Just pray that all my papers pass.
Sandy HWAITING! ~~
i felt i am not pei to like cm!
Really, i am not suitable for him,
maybe he can find a better girl next time.
Low esteem me is always like that.
So i hope cm, u can feel a girl that you like her very much,
i hope i wont pray or dream that u like me.
so i am letting u go, to find a better girl.
Hwaiting, GOOD LUCK to my results.

I AM SAD!
how come i cant do my exams well?
I flunk all the exams i had taken.
In the past, i can do it without hesitation.
But i had to guess and base on luck now.
How?
My exams, my top ten position?
My hope of getting papa and yaya to be happy?
It is all dashed right now.
I am totally going to cry out.
I wanted to study and put in my best effort,
but i can get everything into my brain.
I already flunk my english paper 1 and paper 2.
SS, Geo, Physics, Maths paper 1, Chinese paper 1,
Poa paper 2. HOW? i am going to fail like siao now.
English, paper1, rubbish, paper 2, no common sense.
Chinese paper one, totally out of point.
Physics, forget formula.
SS, dunno SBQ.
Geo, everything dunno.
Poa, cannot balance. Haixx... Already said i am not the
material for studying.
i think i totally useless in this world.
Not pretty, Not cute, Not harddworking, Not clever,
every negative thing come to me .
I think i really cannot excel in studies, beauty le.
i only can excel on nothing,
How? wad am i going to do?
STUDY HARDER? but i cant!
Go plastic surgery to look more beautiful? i also cnt!
wad can i do?
I do not have the brain, looks and figure.
ARGHHH! HELP!!!!
LET ME GO TOP TEN THIS MID YEAR.... Help me!!!!!
GO TOP TEN!!!!
I REALLY WANTED TO GO.
wo hao xiang ku wor.
yao zhen me ban cai xing?
i must do well, i must excel.
SANDY HWAITING. THIS IS THE TIME TO SHOW YOUR ABILTY,
REGARDLESS OF ANY OBSTACLES, I CAN DO IT!
Mid year, i can do it even i already flunk so many paper.
Jiayou , sandy lim! You can do it, you can... I believe i can fly.
I say i can means i can.

Today is my first English paper and social studies.
Under the circumtances that yaya is not in,
i had lesser time to study as I had to do housechores.
Infact, i am slacking right now.
I did not meet the expectations of what MrHo wants.
Similes, Metaphors, Sentence structure, Complex Sentence,
Spelling, Vocabulary, Punctuation...
Oh Shit! How? My english is going to fail again...
Haix, i should double check instead of slacking.
Regrets.
Social studies, Essays, A lot of words forget to write.
Source base question, do not even know how to do a single question.
What the hell i am doing?
Not writing this and that! Wahleu, should have been more hardworking.
Now i am going to chiong GEOG after my 2hrs break!
today is the second day of being lonely after yaya went back to indonesia...
Misss her alot.
Now i am thinking more about yaya then cm!
housechores always do like will never end.
Stomach going to explode!
Hiaiiii.
I thought of something during the exams.
I did what i can, but i do not know if i did it!
best of all, i can memorise all the points in GEOG!
it is more scary then SS!]
Goodluck and JIAYOU!

OWNED BY: Sandy Lim
STONE CRACKED: 4 July '95
SCHOOL(s): KHS'02-07 / MPSS'08-'12 / TP'13-'16
COLOUR OF MY LIFE: White and Black.

Sandy is MY name :D !
I am just ranting all my unhappiness and frustration about my life.
Of course it will not only be negative sides.
Life is full of challenges.
TAKE IT, LEARN IT and REMEMBER IT.
Enjoy if you like it or LEAVE if you hate it.
Simplicity is the only rule in my game.
It's all my personal feelings and I am not pin-pointing anyone.
SO DON'T FEEL OFFENDED.
This is all about it.
Admires, Loves, Hatred, Jealous, Dislikes!
Saranghaeyo, Sukidayo, Wo Ai NI, I love you.
Komowo, Arigato, Xie Xie,Thank you.

I ♡ Ft island & ARASHI & KinKi Kids & Yabu Kota!

WHAT KEEPS MY LIFE GOING: FOODS. DRAMAS. SLEEP. FRIENDS.
WHO MOTIVATES ME: FT ISLAND & ARASHI & KINKI KIDS & YABU KOTA.
HOW I SURVIVE: CHIONG DRAMAS OVERNIGHT. BAD-MOUTHING PPL I HATE WITH MY BESITES. TALK ABOUT LIFE RANDOMLY.



SU-KA:
♥ ARASHI
♥ FT Island & WON BIN
♥ KINKI KIDS
♥ YABU KOTA
♥ HCM, MY CRUSH
♥ Good things to happen
♥ Spending quality time with my HAO PENG YOU
♥ Doing what I like & having time for myself


BUAY SONG:
X When idiots talk bad about my idols
X When things do not happen as I wish
X People who literally ignored me
X Taking in all those shitty things by myself
X Double face BASTARD. Bootlickers. FAKERS.
X Separations

These are my LIKES and DISLIKES :D


This world is so amazing!
BUT, virtual world seems to be more REAL than real world.
Everyone is putting a mask over their face to fit in this society.
No one is ever going to show you their real side anymore.
Be strong.
That's the only way to survive in this ruined world.