Thursday, August 22, 2013 @ 10:22 AM | 0 notes
Yo !
I am having my study break now..
It is already Friday yet I have not even started anything.
With my superb slacking, I think I wont do well !
Sandy , don't give up so easily... the world has not end yet.
you cannot back out now ! fighting ~ !
Giving myself moral support to keep up the energy for studies.
I have to start already !
For my results, hwating !
This study week made me slack a lot !!! haiz...
also, make me think a lot!
Why did I hate him?
Why I feel unhappy seeing him living so well?
Why I feel so turn off with just the thought of working with him?
Why???? I want the reasons!
He is not the one I am finding for.
As what wh said, I have not put down my feelings for cm.
I am lying to myself , I am bluffing myself.
I always say I do not have any feelings for cm.
Is it really true?
I don't know.
My heart is in a confusion right now.
I want to ask J, why did you come into my life and caused a disturb in my heart?
Now, I do not even know who I like.
Should I continue to lie myself ?
Saying that I still like cm ?
Saying that I have put down the feelings for cm?
Which is true? I really don't know!
I am so confused now.
My family know I once like cm already.
Should I just continue to like him?.
Or I have already gotten over him?
I don't know la !!!
CM , can you come into my heart and tell me the truth?
I don't think I have any feelings for you already,..
J , why did you caused a sensation in my heart.
If not you , I would just continue liking cm. And nothing will happen.
Now.. I do not even know who I like.
cm , I am sorry for using you as defence.
I don't mean it. I am really sorry !
You are still my EC though.
J, I am telling you. I hate you !
seriously hate you !
I don't like you ! I hate you ! I don't want to work with you!
that's it!
you made me like a fool.
you told me I am your best friend.
Ohh, I see. this is how you treated your best friend.
such a good friend , huh?
When I do not automatic talk to you, you wont talk to me?
Okay , fine!
I wont talk to you anymore. IN MY WHOLE LIFE!
Don't like this kind of friend.
I treated you as my friend, anything , I would tell you.
You asked me to understand. Please, understand me first.
YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND ME AT ALL !
AND YOU EXPECT ME TO UNDERSTAND YOU ?
NO WAY I AM GOING TO DO THAT!
Totally angry !
I already made my words straight.
If I talk to someone first, I treat that person as my friend.
If you are not my friend, I wont even bother to talk to you !
Yea, go live in your own world.
I wont disturb you anymore !
Now I am angry with you , I wont even want to talk to you!
in my life of quarrelling, I will never be the first to talk to that person.
Unless you come talk to me first, or else I am not going to talk you.
This is my limit. Don't go over it.
Or else , friends also cannot be!
I am being good not to scold you!
I am not an automatic person. Don't force my vulgarities to spurt out!
Being initiative is so tiring, I will not take initiative anymore.
Sj always told me to take the initiative.
I took all my courage and dare to be the first and talk to you.
and this is the end result I am going to take?
You are an expert.
You destroyed my courage, you ruined my first time ,
and you made me feel so tired.
No way I am going to take any initiative anymore.
What's wrong being alone?
I wont die if no guys want me.
I am also not going to count on any guy when I grow up!
I have the ability to take care of myself. I do not need any guy.
I AM NOT GOING TO BE THE ONE TO TALK TO ANYONE FIRST ANYMORE,
THANKS TO YOU FOR DESTROYING MY COURAGE!
MAKING ME TO BE A TIMID PERSON ONCE AGAIN.
I just step out that fcuking hell timid character.
Trying to be more daring, talking to everyone without a fear.
Do you know that I took 5 years to build up that courage?
And you just spoilt it with your pinky finger.
I damn hate you, fucking hate you !
Now, I have to rebuild it again.
Being able to talk to customer took every bit courage of mine too.
Without it , how am I going to face my customers?
How am I going to do my presentation?
You better return it to me!
Also , clear that confusion in the heart of mine !
I don't care, you had stir up my life into a complete mess.
You better clear it before leaving or else I am not going to forgive you !
